I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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