Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
