I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Quick, to the slutcave!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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