Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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