Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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