I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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