playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
