there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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