I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
