yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
