he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
