he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
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The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
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In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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