I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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