Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
