I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
