I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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