exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Randomize
