so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
