i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
