K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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