I need help removing her.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
