plz talk dirty to me
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
