im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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