our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
