If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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