He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
