i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
