I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
