How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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