I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
