I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
