I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
