Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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