My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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