You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The adults are the big ones right?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
