I hate all girls vehemently.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
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