I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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