i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
