I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
