wake up i wanna do it froggy style
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
