Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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