then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize