You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
