Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Is it penis luge time yet?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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