We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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