so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
