Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
