Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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