he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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