Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize