what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
