its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
