do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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