Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
