I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
