Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
