If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
