it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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