'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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