you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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