You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
