Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You need a sexual gate keeper
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
